so, I have been engaging in really unhealthy behavior. that is, looking at the Facebook of a guy I had sex with a couple times, a few years ago, since I left the city we both lived in. it's been eating me up inside because I have been living a life I hate after having left that city, many miles away, and a couple months after I left, he messaged me asking if I was still there. I think he wanted to hook up again. when I told him I had left, we kinda kept in touch but he pulled back and nothing came of it. a few months after, he got into a relationship with a girl who I think she and I have a lot of similarities, and I have just been like gahhhhh WHYYY DIDNT I GO BACK. and, now it is three years later, I have not progressed in meeting anybody for a long term relationship potential , and he just proposed to this same girl! esp with reading things on glow, I'm like, k gotta be supportive, they are in love and so cute and have found each other. and the other huge part of me is like WHAAAAAAA WHYYYYYYY. Its just been so upsetting. I get a sinking and sickly feeling in my gut seeing them, and yet I'm the one reaching out to even see his profile. and I mentally compare myself to her and what I had wanted to be back when I was in that city. it's like she is living the life that I had wanted, with this guy, in this city, which I had put aside to move back to my hometown. it's upsetting is all, and I feel like my behaviors are unhealthy. I wouldn't try and go back there and tempt him or anything. if anything, glow has taught me full well how to avoid that. thats all. so frustrating. fuck. my goodness. thank you and I apologize for my limited cursing.