How do you keep from becoming bitter?😭

So on the weekend my husband and I went to a wedding, it was beautiful. We danced, reminisced and kissed in all the lovely parts. Sunday I worked & he was pissed off, I’m not sure if this is because he wanted to do things as a ‘family’ or on his own, by Monday it was all over.

He told me he’s not happy and hasn’t been for years (together 8 years married 3) I knew he had been depressed but TBH I put that down to the frequency of his marijuana smoking 🤷‍♀️ anyway we have a 2 year old, I’m a low income earner and I can’t afford to pay our rent on my own.

We’re in Australia so there is government assistance for single Parents. But he will have to stay until I get approved and start getting this assistance.

I’m 25. We’ve been together since 16, I feel like he’s having a midlife crisis. He’s never been with anyone but me so all of me wants to believe this isn’t just about sleeping with someone else!

How do I stop myself from being bitter AF? He wants to be independent, but we have a child? We have been trying for another baby since March, to no avail. I can’t help but feel robbed of that too! At home not much has changed, he wants to be ‘best friends’ like we were in school but I can promise I cannot be friends with him if he gets a girlfriend. I still love him, I don’t want my marriage to end. I signed up for life and i thought he did too!

So really my question is how do I prevent the bitterness from taking over my whole being? And how do I co-parent so that this doesn’t make my son’s life miserable? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔