I've been very depressed lately I'm having another son and my first one is 1😔bf he is my world I have no emotion to this pregnancy Like my first by boy friend is the best he's such a good dad the best he gets. Up at night to care forum son wakes up and lets me sleep in always he's the provider I pay nothing yet I have have a part time job an get what I want with it he's has never complained the ten years we have been together we have been together since I was 14 and he took my virginity .hes perfect basically the only thing is his family lives with us and it makes me want to cry every day because they destroyed are house and took over and the second part is they think my boyfriend is so perfect for years I have struggled with him cheating and him trying to this past couple of months I told him it was ok to just sleep with other women I gave up completely he says he loves me so much but desires sex from others so I gave up I smiled and told him yes because right now I can't physically have sex due to my pregnancy it's killing me inside and on top of that so is his family I hate going home I rather be single then to live there but I could never make it on my own and on top of that I'm trying to figure out how ima love this next child I'm scared I act happy but no one knows my pain not one soul all of this is inside me sometimes I think of running away with my son but no where to go I just had to tell someone other that talking to my. Self and crying when I'm in the shower or when he's asleep-sorry this is long-