The ethics of teaching

This might be long but I’ll try to be concise. A couple years ago I taught a student with autism, let’s call her Betty. Betty had basic conversational skills and vocabulary. She could decode at a high level (read the words) but could not comprehend at even the lowest level. In math she could do any algorithm (a worksheet) but could not complete the same algorithm if it was visual or included in a problem solving situation.

I read the lowest level book with her which was about a boy who was adopting a cat. She could read all the words but when I asked her about the book she would say “cat” and when I asked for more information she would say “cat playing” (I’m guessing she was looking at the picture as one could think that from the illustrations. Now she was reading Harry Potter books but could not tell you what it was about. For math she could add and subtract decimals on a worksheet but could not count change or do any problem solving. So if I said I have two apples and Barney gave me 3 apples, how many apples do I have now? She wouldn’t be able to answer.

Her father wanted her to learn the grade level concepts in the hope that one day when she could communicate better she would remember all the concepts and skills. But, if she never did and we didn’t focus on the skills and concepts she needed to be as independent as possible I worried about her future as well.

So here’s my question. Should students learn concepts if they can learn the basics of the said concept but not be able to apply it? Or should students be working at a level where the concepts can be applied and can be focused on concepts that will benefit them in real life? (Ie counting change, telling time instead of geometry, fractions, etc)

This situation always haunted me as her father wanted her to be taught at grade level but I never knew what was ethically right.