do I text him first/does he really want to date?

I’ve been talking to a guy on and off for about three years. we had gone on dates but usually with other people there too and it wasn’t until this year that we even hooked up. we worked together over the summer and became good friends but now we’ve hung out and just hooked up a couple times (made out and oral) so it seemed like a fwb situation because we both agreed that we didn’t want a relationship. the problem is I really like him and have since we began talking 3 years ago, I just hate being in relationships and don’t want to risk ruining our friendship and what we have so I’ve never told him. we got really drunk together a few nights ago and he told me he’s wanted to date me this whole time and I’m the only one he wants and we talked for an hour or two all along these lines and I told him that I loved him I just didn’t trust him enough to have sex or date him. we haven’t talked since other than me apologizing to him over text for being rude to him that night and he acted kind of weird about it so I don’t know if he meant what he said that night or not and I don’t know how to bring it up to him again. I’m scared to ask him to hang out and talk because I don’t know how much of what he said was true or what he even remembers but everything he said made me realize I really do want to be in a real relationship with him and I can’t talk to him if he’s still going to be with other girls all the time. should I talk to him about it or wait for him to come to me?