Why does it hurt when I try to have sex?

Question

Me and my guy tried to have sex last night it was super painful. I lost my v to him and we only had sex a few times. Is it possible that if I don't have sex for a while I would have to start all over with the pain? I feel so bad and I get really insecure. He's very supportive but on the inside I feel like I'm not doing it right or maybe I'm thinking too much. I know that I have to be wet but like how wet should I be so that It can be easier to take? It gets really frustrating especially when I want it!!Any tips?

Answer

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. I still struggle with what your describing. Here is what I have learned helps with me. First, try to relax. When I start to stress and fear the pain, it gets worse. So I take a deep breath and try to relax. Remember that it should be enjoyable, but Nothing you should feel pressure to do if you aren’t 100% in the mood. Second, foreplay makes a difference! I find my husband is “ready” much faster than me. Don’t rush yourself. Third, use lube! I feel like there’s this idea, maybe from movies, I dunno, that you should just be able to jump right in. But I think about 50% of the time, i need lube otherwise it hurts. You will learn when the times are you need it or don’t need it. You will figure out the best way to apply it so you don’t lose the mood. But just talk to your partner about that need so you feel open about pausing to use it. I also think that going down on him first helps set the mood, lubricate himself up a little, and provide a discrete time for me to apply lube.  I hope that helps!

Answer

you have to be ready before penetration esp as you are new to sex. basically you are teaching your body to relax. do a lot of foreplay and getting comfortable and turned on. dont go for penetration until your bodyis warmed up and wants it. as for wetness, ideal wetness is when its very slippery, like its forming a layer over your skin. if you have trouble getting wet, get some lube. not all women get wet enough, and also most women dont stay wet enough the entire time. lube will help a lot

Answer

Try foreplay. The more relaxed you are the more your muscles will loosen up and it will be more enjoyable. I’ve found that starting off with kissing that leads to oral helps me relax and get super wet which makes it WAY easier for him to penetrate.

Why does it hurt when I try to have sex?

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