I can't do this anymore, I just wanna die

Hi so i just no longer had a baby 4 days ago and I'm currently in the hospital recovering from a c section, I had to deliver my child at almost 29 weeks because of severe preeclampsia but however I'm stressed out, about my baby & I feel like a failure of a mother that couldn't even carry her child to term & on top of that I have the father of my kid that I've been with for 5 years now telling me that he doesn't wanna be with me anymore. Idk what to do and this shit I'd just eating me up, me worrying about my kid & now losing someone that I love just because he wants to live his life and doesn't love me anymore. I really can't deal with shit, I'm suicidal & I broke out in cold sores all over my face due to the stress. Like why is this shit happening to me? I really can't deal with life right now, and I'm having so many stupid thoughts. I just want this pain to go away! I feel like I'm dying within! Now I'm stuck with a newborn on my own while trying to recover from a c section and a break up.