Wild Boy

My son turned one Dec 6th. His check up is today so I'm def having a long talk with his doctor. My boy is such a fighter and it just keeps getting worse the more mobile he gets. Everything is a fight with him. Daddy helped me wash his hair last night. Last time I washed his hair by myself he fought me so bad. He smashed his head twice and went under a few times. Diaper changes same thing. He has bruises on his legs because I'm literally trying to hold on for dear life to keep him from hurting himself. He'll thrash like crazy. Just now he smashed his head so hard on the changing table. He'll also purposely keep banging his head on things even though he's screaming in pain. I'm constantly on edge. I feel like I have to constantly follow him. I'm afraid he's going to accidentally hurt himself or I'm going to accidentally hurt him. I feel like such a failure. My nerves are completely shot. I feel like its my fault some how. I just hope the doctor has some answers .