I never knew how much pain i could have in my heart. Knowing that I’m not having my baby in July kills me inside. Ive been crying so much I never knew I had so many tears. We went to the first ultrasound and thought I was close to 9 weeks but the sac was only 2 inches so I was measuring at 4-6 weeks and they said if that was the case the baby would be too small to see. They told me to come back in a week. 2 days before I went to my appointment I was in the hospital for bleeding after my husband and I had sex and it’d been happening for awhile so I wanted answers. They wanted an ultrasound I was excited and terrified at the same time we went for the ultrasound and at that very second I saw nothing changed and start crying, we went back to the room we were in and I burst into tears my husband tried to reassure me that it’s to early but a mother knows if something isn’t right especially if I have a 2 year old son. Friday came and my heart was broken in half crushed up and thrown away having the ultrasound and then the doctor coming and saying “your baby isn’t going to grow” I couldn’t look at him anymore, I couldn’t talk. He then said that I would be having a missed miscarriage and that either i could have the doctors take care of it or take it the natural way. All Friday I was crying and sleeping. We get home and I asked my husband why he hasn’t reacted he tells me “I have to be strong for you, and I also prepared myself. I had to have hope just in case everything went okay.” All today I’ve been crying and I can’t process any of this. I think it’s my fault that maybe I couldve done something different.