Yesterday was the big day. I’d planned to deliver the exciting news first to my big brother, and then my mom.

Around 5:30am, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to sit on the toilet, wipe, and see blood. I started to panic, but tried to keep it together and not freak out. I got on the Nuture App and frantically started searching, “11 week’s bleeding.” I’d started the worst series of cramps i’d ever endured in my life. Every time I wiped, more blood came in what looked to be tissue. I called my SIL & my best friend who’d both just had babies. They both urged me to call my OB/go to the hospital. I panicked.

I could barely walk, much less put clothes on. The pain was absolutely unbearable as my man rushed me to the ER.

I sat in the waiting room, running to the bathroom every few minutes trying to pee for the urine sample and couldn’t. Only blood kept gushing down, when I felt something larger than blood clots fall out of my vagina.

I couldn’t even look, as I tried my hardest not to believe what just happened to me.

I passed it.

I didn’t want to believe that happened just then.

I spent 5 hours in the ER that day.

1 hour just waiting for sonogram results.

I laid in the fucking hallway on a hospital bed in that packed hospital with my S.O at my feet and my doctor at my side telling me that i miscarried.

My entire world shattered. I am heartbroken.

I lost my first child at 27 years old.