Making life is not all peaches 🍑😪🙏🏻

When writing personal stuff I never know where to start ... so beginning always seems best. Sorry for the long post.

Me and my absolute world have been trying for baby#1 for 2.5years ever since our miscarriage in June 2015.

The questioning ‘what did I do wrong’? ‘When will it be our turn?’ We thought we hit breaking point, emotions everywhere we wouldn’t talk we spent no time at all together.. we lived separate lives 😪 .

Then we got some closure. Heartache will never leave us but we won’t let it ruin us. We got our new home, we got engaged 💍😍💕 and adopted our beautiful Olly 🐶

Then on April 21st we found out we was expecting 🙏🏻💕👶 our lives became so perfect you could only imagine.. we had our midwives appointment and was sized at 5.4weeks (without a scan) even though we was told to have one due to irregular periods and the miscarriage. Nothing was done.

We told our families the great news if only you could see the happiness in them. We felt like we had righted all our wrongs.. nothing could ruin this...

Then may 14th came and I experienced some brown mucus and googled (worse thing you can do is google) 🙈 my heart was beating so fast it wouldn’t slow down. We went to the hospital had bloods done which showed our baby was growing ..again no scan but we was reassured by nurse Helen we also got an emergency scan for the next day.

May 15th 8:40am we are sat waiting.. my heart beating that fast I felt physically sick 🤢 my other half at side of me trying to not show he was a wreck to..

9:20am we are finally going to see our baby 👶 yayyy ... my fella was told to wait behind the curtain till she found the baby on screen.. the screen was turned away from me, the doctor looking confused and then the disastrous look on her face hit me.. she called in dean and asked him sit down, all this time I’m still laying there with the wand still inside me.

Then the words left her mouth... You was having identical twins it’s ectopic and ur going for surgery... MY world just crumbled my other half couldn’t even look at me the heartache in his face... this is it we’re over.. how do we come back from this?!

We got rushed back to our local hospital for surgery, still in shock thinking ‘can there be a mistake?!’ My man at the side of me all the way ringing our mums to let them know. Sat on a ward waiting on the surgeon. Who comes in Helen (the nurse) absolutely heartbroken. Hugging both me and dean.

After surgery after they removed my babies the told us they was still beating.. we where 9weeks closer to 10 due December 18th.. they was on my cervix wall not in my tube but because we didn’t go private they At to remove it. I came home the day after. I had 4 incisions a d&c; and a right tube removal. Or I could of died.. Just when I thought it was already difficult to have a baby. My love could of lost even more 😪😭

We was told to try till November as there was a higher chance to conceive. DIDNT HAPPEN.

We are now booked in with a fertility clinic thanks to the amazing surgeon and doctor who actually wanted to help us.

WE COULDN’T BE MORE GRATEFUL 😘💕💏 And still going strong 😘

For all couples who think they have hit rock bottom ..there is always a positive to your negative 💕