so I really feel that I wasn't in control of anything that happened with my son in the birthing process. I've had a child and don't know what laboring feels like. Let's just say the medicine I was given really worked. I didn't even know if I was pushing. I had to ask me husband if I was.

I mean I don't like pain but feel like I robbed myself if the opportunity to learn what my body is meant to do. Long story short for baby #2 I'm not even sure what cost, or planning should look like if I don't want to lay on my back to give birth, or to try a natural birth. I don't know the difference between a midwife or doula. Or if I need either one. Where should I start to find the proper info and possibly be able to try to wrap my mind around cost associated to present this to my husband.