My bf and I got into yet another stupid and hurtful fight tonight. He doesn't trust me and is always coming at me with crazy accusations (No I don't think it's because he's cheating. I've heard that before and don't think that's the case here) . The fight today was after we had a different crazy fight yesterday surrounding his trust issues which he took to the extreme. He didn't hit me but he pushed me down a couple of times, grabbed me, and dragged me out the bathroom. My body is sore from that today (like I worked out or something) and I have a bruise on my arm. After the craziness he apologized I went back last night. Then tonight he starts with another accusation again when I'm at work over something stupid. It's crazy because I'm faithful and always have been.

The thing is I thought I was done yesterday but when things calmed down all I wanted was peace with him and to make it work. Then he started again today. I think the relationship is over but I'm fighting the urge to respond to his text messages to let him know how wrong he is. His last message says that I'm "a lying fake ass individual". It hurts that he thinks that way of me after 2 and a half years. I really want to respond and let him know for the millionth time that he's wrong but I know that would probably just get things started again. But it's just hard for me to just leave it like that. I just want him to know he's wrong about me so bad. Part of me also feels like if I don't respond he will think I don't care when I really do still. Sometimes I feel relieved when I think about us breaking up and then I feel panicky scared and sad about it.