Ok so me and this boy dated in high school for 2 years until we both graduated. We were going to do long distance but both had our doubts. He eventually ended it with me a day before he was leaving saying he just wanted a "break", but I told him it's either we break up or try long distance and obviously he wanted to break up, but kept talking about how he was going to get me back and all this stuff. We both loved each other before he left and would text all the time probably for the first month. We are coming home for break and going to meet up and I don't know what to do if he says that he wants be back. I think I'm still in love with him but I've changed and realized that he's done so much shit to me and we really should have broken up this one time that's an even longer story. And we honestly wouldn't make it in our future, but I can't seem to move on even though it's been months. I switch between wanting to be with him so badly and then realizing that I don't need him. I don't know if I feel this way because he was my first and the only person I know how to be in a relationship with or if I really truly love him. Anybody have this same feelings for their first loves? My gut tells me to get closure and clearly end it but my heart wants him back and try and do things a different way. Ugh it's the worst feeling