What comes 1st?

Question

My whole life I've heard or been told that as a mother kids come first. But lately I've been struggling with this because if I constantly put my kids wants or needs above my husbands then there is strain on the relationship. I don't mean loving more than the other, I just mean the little things like kids wanting to sleep with us, taking romantic weekend or small family trip, etc.

So, which should be the top priority? (Cause realistically we can't please everyone all the time!!)

Answer

I think thisnshouldnt even be a question, because you shouldn't have to prioritise.  You and your OH should have joint goals and drives. If he's someone you need to "look after" or is expecting you to look after the children and himself is both not being a good father or husband

Answer

Perhaps your outlook is too black and white? Make time for both! Explain to the kids that its dad's turn and vice versa

Answer

You have to take care of yourself and your husband so both of you can take care of your kids.

Answer

We don't have kids, so by default, we're each other's top priority- and even then, we secure our own oxygen mask before assisting others. You have to take care of yourself first and foremost.

Answer

I think it needs to be balanced. Time for the kids and also time for your husband and yourself.

Answer

Your relationship between you and your so has to come first to make a stable home for the whole family. But it should be about 50/50 between them and the kids just don't let your relationship get strained or it could all fall apart. I got too consumed with our daughter as I was always taught children before spouse but I should have given my husband more attention cause it lead him to stray with a homewrecking whore he works with cause she gave him the attention he needed from me. I am changing priorities around which is admittedly easier now that baby is 1 and more independent and takes less of my attention and he has come back home. I will never let our relationship suffer again though my children's will being is still #1 priority but I had been going above and beyond for the baby.

Answer

Kids should be a team effort and a team priority. But everything should be agreed on together at case to case basis. But mom and dad always need their time too.

Answer

Your SO is supposed to come first so that you have a strong relationship and you can together be there for your children. Now this is the case in a marriage. If you are referring to your own children and a BF or GF. Then your children come first.

Answer

By prioritizing and nurturing your marriage, you are setting a strong foundation for your children. Both spouses should always put the basic needs of the kids first, of course, but one of those basic needs is a sense of security, and the best way to provide that for your kids is to maintain a strong, healthy marriage.

Answer

I say strike a balance.

My husband has a kid from an ex, it would extremely unfair for him to have to put me first all the time.

What comes 1st?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey