So here’s the thing:

I hate EVERYTHING about me. From how fat I am, down to the way my hands look. I constantly am picturing the way I look throughout the day, doing the things I do. I feel like people make fun of me for it. I look at pictures and can’t even think of the memories I was trying to capture because all I can do is fixate on how weird/awkward/terrible/etc. I look. I’m married and I can’t really talk to my husband about this because he says it hurts him to know I think of myself this way. I just don’t know how to fix it too because I know if I talk to my mother she’ll say “well everyone says you look like me, do you think I am ugly?” and of course I don’t but it doesn’t exactly address the problem. If I talk to friends they’ll just say “oh.... no..... you’re beautiful!” And I get this very real and debilitating fear that they’re lying to me because they feel so bad for me.

And then part of me knows that all of this is insane but I can’t turn it off and it’s driving me insane.

How can I fix myself?