Sad 😔

I’ve just been feeling really worthless lately. I was talking to this guy for awhile and I started to really like him. We talked about things like how he wanted to take me to his home town and show me around. We talked about how many kids we wanted and what we wanted in our future. He told me he was proud of me when I got a good grade on a test and I didn’t know what to say. We talked for a good 3 months before I told him I liked him and he responded with “I’m really flattered but I’m talking to someone else right now”. And now they are dating and it just kills me inside. I’ve had really abusive and fucked up relationships in the past so I usually don’t put myself out there on a limb because shit like this always happens to me. He went to give me a high five one day and I flinched because I wasn’t expecting it and I’ve had been hit before and he said “if you really think I’m going to hit you, there’s something really wrong with you”. I know I’m fucked up. But he didn’t have to point it out to everyone. The worst part is, is that I told him what my past relationships were like and what they did to me.

I know you guys probably don’t care to hear this but I just needed to let it out because I just want to give up on it all.