So I’ve always read all the amazing stories and said one day I’ll post mine. And today is that day. 😌

I wrote this story as it happened and it is long so bare with me. And if you know me personally please keep this secret! Written on the 21st April 2018:

💜 The last few weeks have been both the most harrowing and exciting of our lives. To find out on Valentine's Day that we where expecting our second child after less than 3 weeks of trying was amazing! We where shocked at how fast we fell pregnant and were so excited to announce our pregnancy at our wedding on Easter Sunday.

So to say we where devastated when the sonographer said "I'm sorry but there's a problem with your baby." is an understatement. This was already our second scan in 1 week as the midwife dated us using the first day of my last period however due to my longer than 28 day cycle we where about 9/10 less pregnant than originally thought. So the first sonographer rescheduled us and it was at this second scan that a very large nuchal translucency was picked up on screen. For an 11 week old baby a nuchal translucency of 2mm is about normal. Our baby had a NT result of 7.5mm.

We had opted for the screening tests with Arlo and so we did the same with this baby. We never in a million years thought it would show a problem with our Baby. The sonographer said that even had we opted out of the screenings a result that severe meant they would of had to tell us regardless. If I'm honest when I looked at the screen I even thought to myself something didn't look right. And after when I spoke to Charlie I said I thought she was going to say there is no heartbeat. He agreed the same.

So after receiving the news we where booked in to the Fetal Medicine unit at the RVI at the soonest available appointment to see a specialist. We had a 5 day wait. In the meantime we where trying to finish off last minute things for the wedding while trying to remain positive. We only knew that an NT result like that meant a high likelihood of Down's, Edward's, Patau's syndrome or a possible heart defect.

The heart could be operated on, Down's is something many people manage with everyday but Edward's and Patau's are fatal both in and out of the womb. We went into the appointment thinking we'd be given more information and possibly the next steps to take. We were and the next step was a scan and an invasive test called CVS in which a large needle is placed into my womb and samples taken from my placenta. We opted to go head with that and then upon having the scan to check the position of my placenta the consultant turned to us and said "I sorry but I have found fluid in the baby's body."

This just blew our world apart even more once we learned that the baby had what is called Fetal Hydrops and that we where looking at a 1-2% chance of survival. Hydrops is the result of a chromosomal abnormality or heart defect. It was at this point that the consultant told us some people don't even go ahead with the CVS after hearing about Hydrops and either end the pregnancy or let nature take its course. We went back to the counseling room to talk, all the while Arlo was charming the pants off the midwives and other ladies that were kindly looking after him. We are so grateful that he is far too young to understand the grief we where now feeling.

We initially decided to call it a day and not have the CVS done but after more thought I knew I wanted to know why. Why was our child struggling to cope so early on in the womb? What was so wrong that it's tiny body was filling up with fluid? After much talking we decided to go ahead and the consultant got us back in the room to take a look. My bladder was filling up very quickly and so they had to work fast. The procedure didn't take too long and wasn't painful due to the fast acting local anaesthetic. And as I lay there watching the screen We could see our tiny baby waving it's arms and flexing it's tiny tiny fingers up by its face and I though how are you so sick that we will never get to see you grow up? You look perfect to me.

That was the Tuesday before our wedding. It took two days to get the results and when the Consultant called and told us our baby was a girl and that she had Turner's Syndrome we where gutted. Turners only effects girls. We had only briefly been told about Turner's and Charlie had really hoped it wasn't that and I agreed as we didn't want our little one to have a gender and a name making it even harder to deal with. But here we where knowing it's a baby girl we had so hoped for but that despite the Turner's she was terminally ill and unlikely to be born alive due to the Hydrops. We looked at information on Turner's and quickly came to the conclusion that if it was severe it would be no way for a girl to grow up and have to try and live with her copious amounts of health issues and disadvantages.

Fast forward to the night before the wedding and I was stressed and struggling. The morning of the wedding (Easter Sunday) I woke up and thought today was the day for myself and Charlie to become one, to become this awesome team and to seal our commitment to eachother in the presence of our closest family and friends. We got ready, had fun, went down and upon walking into that beautiful hall I forgot everything and was taken over by this magical thing that was about to take place. The ceremony was amazing. The registrar was incredible for how little he knew us both and I choked on my words as I promised to love Charlie and cherish our friendship forever. Arlo was fast asleep in his Grandad's arms the whole way through. The rest was an incredible day and night of food, drinks, speeches, dancing and talking. We went to bed at about 1am and then had a lovely breakfast with our nearest and dearest that stayed in our hotel the night before.

CONTINUED IN PART TWO!