Mental health

So I have been having a really hard time just recently. My moods have been swinging from really hyper to really low. I have suffered with depression in the past. Now I am frightened it's the first time I have actually suffered with suicidal thoughts. I plucked the courage to ask for a mental health day this Friday just gone- due to feeling like crap... I didn't see any silver lining. My mother told me about my fathers mental health condition because in my family eyes no one my age should be suffering from depression... BS! Today I rang the doctor and managed to get an appointment.. I honestly feel like I'm not myself and it's a scary thought