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I gave birth to my son 6 weeks ago, at the hospital there was some tension between my boyfriend and my mom and he didn’t come around for the 4 days of his sons life. I was alone dealing with the baby, dealing with change, dealing with the tiredness. Constant bottle washing. Alone. During this time I found it extremely hard to bond with my son and I just didn’t know why. I just looked at him and felt as though I wasn’t his mom. As messed up as it might seem 😔 the emotional connection wasn’t there. Minutes after I pushed him out they took him directly to the pediatrics to be checked and he stood there the night, I feel as though this and not succeeding with breastfeeding made it hard to bond. I went home before he did and I just cried while walking away from the nursery. I’m staying with my dad for the holidays with my boyfriend and the baby and I’ll admit it I’ve had my boyfriend do most of the work. Mainly because we don’t live together and I do it alone. Day in day out. I hold him while doing schoolwork at home. I have his car seat outside the bath while I shower and I thought I could take this opportunity to get some rest.. My boyfriend has been calling me a bad mother every chance he gets. He tells me I don’t take care of our son. He tells me that when we get back our son is going home with him. Our son coughed twice last night literally and he swears he’s sick and that I neglect him. Yesterday after physically assaulting me, he took our sons insurance card and social security and put it in his pocket and went to sleep in another room.