Am I being unreasonable?

Question

I stay home with our 3 month old. I find myself getting frustrated constantly with my husband because I’m constantly picking up after him. I understand it’s my job to maintain the home while he works, but I feel like I shouldn’t have to pick up after him constantly. Some examples include a tool box that’s been on the living room floor since Christmas, his socks stuffed in the couch and his clothes on the floor. Am I being dramatic and is this what I signed up for??

Answer

Nah you’re not unreasonable. He is an adult and can pick up after himself. It may be your responsibility to clean the house a bit, but you’re not a maid.

Answer

I struggle with this. I clean the house during the day & 15 mins after he comes home the house is filled with clutter. I HATE CLUTTER. The counters have his work crap everywhere, it’s winter now so all his layers are in various places throughout the house.. like it’s so frustrating. I get that he works hard every day but shit so do I.. it’s not hard to clean up after yourself just a little bit. I’ve got 3 dogs and a 5 month old so my hands are full, and it’s annoying to keep cleaning the same areas because he can’t put shit away when hes done with it. There’s a million other things that need my attention in this house but I find myself circling the living room, kitchen & bathroom all the time. Not to mention he showers & changes his clothes EVERY TIME. It’s winter now, you can’t change your sweat shirt every 3 hours after your showers.. that just makes me need to do MORE laundry. Oops. This turned into a vent rather than advice 😂😂 ugh men. they really are from different planets than we are. Honestly I told my boyfriend that he needed to cut the shit and help me more. I enabled him in the 4 years we were together before the baby, I picked up for him and I even cleaned his room before we lived together but it’s 100% different now & he’s beginning to realize it and help more on the weekends when he’s home all day. If I’m cleaning less there’s more time for relaxing and even some adult time while the baby naps.. you just gotta know how to convince them 😂😉

Answer

No, you aren’t being unreasonable, but he might be surprised that you are upset by his habits suddenly now.
If your home is like me home, then your husband has been leaving things lay around for your entire relationship.  Before kids, it was simply annoying and really only worthy of an eye roll.  Now with the added stress of a newborn (and feeling like you can’t get anything done), this habit of leaving things lay around is straight up unbearable.
You should try talking to him, but you probably need to set your expectations low.  He might agree to put stuff away or he could be like my hubs and keep on keeping on (mess doesn’t register as a problem in his brain...probably because he is from Mars).

Answer

Not at all. You have a kid to pick up after, what are you, his mother or his wife?!
I’m also not one of the women who feels the home should always be clean for when the man gets home, it’s a family home and sometimes the days are short and busy and you’re not a goddamn maid.

Answer

Have you mentioned it to him? It's not unreasonable to expect him to use a little sense when he comes home, especially if you've worked hard to give him a clean, nice home to come home to, along with a happy, healthy baby.
FYI, I'm right there with you. If this man doesn't stop just dropping things wherever he's done with them I'm gonna lose it. How hard is it to put your soda can in the recycling?! Why do I have to play scavenger hunt around the house to clean up?

Am I being unreasonable?

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