what do you do when your partner is not attracted to you?

Question

I have been on some meds that caused excessive weight gain.  right now no matter how much I exercise or how little I eat I can't lose an ounce.  I have always been super fit.  now I am fat.  my husband let me know that he isn't as attracted to me.  he isn't excited to have sex with me.  I feel hideous. I am also disgusted with myself.  how do you cope and continue despite no results???  I try to avoid mirrors and just make myself go to the gym 6 times a week for at least an hour.  I currently weight more than him and it's so gross help!!!!

Answer

have you talked to your doctor? They could rule out any other medical reasons and may be able to prescribe something to counteract the weight gain

Answer

I'm sorry. Your husband doesn't seem to be very understanding and is coming off as a dick. You're on medication and it is not your fault you gained the weight. You could try exercising and eating healthy if that would make YOU feel better. I think your husband is being shallow and needs to remember that he didn't just marry you for your looks (hopefully). You can either try to try to lose weight and communicate with him. Or in my opinion, leave if he's going to be that shallow. Remember this is just my opinion and I'm not trying to tell you what to do. That is your decision only.

Answer

Talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. I’ve gained a lot of weight since I first got with my boyfriend 5 years back. He tells me he’s still as attracted to me and finds me just as beautiful as he did 5 years ago🤷🏽‍♀️
When you truly love someone you accept them for who they are and what they look like, no matter what.

Answer

if you're dieting and exercising with no results for a decent time period and you are actually over weight (with a BMI greater than 25), then you should see you're doctor to make sure there is not a medical condition that needs to be addressed.

Answer

Let him know how hurtful it is for him to say he isn’t attracted to you. If he doesn’t care then I wouldn’t stay with him. That’s extremely hurtful. Someone should be with you for who you are and if he can’t help it and is that shallow then perhaps he should help you lose the weight or come up with some other solutions.

Answer

Leave him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I think you need to stop the meds and discuss a more weight friendly option with a doctor.  this is actually very common.  in marriages , especially older marriages partners can gain weight.  I think your husband was brutally honest with you.  he could have kept that comment to himself but I don't think it makes him a bad guy.  if you talked to men alone most don't really like when women gain weight. they just don't vocaliZe it.  you are still beautiful.  talk to him about what's going on and help him understand.  continue working out and eating right.   Remember this is TEMPORARY weight.  It's not permanent.  It will come  off eventually.  stay strong.  you said you were always fit.  well look at an old fit pic of yourself as motivation.  you got this!!!

Answer

How are you going to feel like you look better if you avoid mirrors. Look,  you ladies gotta stop letting these average piss poor looking dudes dictate how you feel about yourself. If a guy doesn't like the way I look,  tough shit.. his loss! I'm gonna put on my makeup, tease my hair and wear whatever the hell I feel like... that's what I'd do if he wasn't attracted to me. Then I'd take my happy ass and my confidence to the bar and have a damn good time!

what do you do when your partner is not attracted to you?

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