I really fucking like this guy but he has a girlfriend. Alright so it’s a long story, here goes.

So I’ve gone to school with this guy for 6 years, and we’ve been friends basically the whole time. Back when we first met, he went back and forth between liking me and a couple other girls, but constantly going back to me and I never felt the same way towards him, to me we would just be friends. That was probably really shitty for him, but we were still friends. Since then the situation has kind of been the same, he spent a couple months dating my best friend, but I know for a fact that he liked me before and after. Now before they started dating my views on him completely changed and I liked him, a lot. But I didn’t do anything about it and he started dating my friend. Now she treated him like shit and I was still super into him so when they broke up your girl wanted to hop in there and steal him. We got closer, and we were on a school weekend trip to Stratford, and on the bus back we talked for hours about our lives and everything and he told me he liked me. YES. Now all I wanted to do was finally be able to call him mine, but my best friend would be so upset and I explained to him that she is the only thing holding me back. I went home that night and had my worst (still to this day) panic attack. This was September of 2016. We kind of drifted apart after that because I thought that maybe if we didn’t talk as much I wouldn’t feel the same way. I know that was a really shitty thing to do and I still regret it so much, but that was the only thing I thought would work. So we didn’t talk for a while. And he got a new girlfriend in Fall/Winter 2017. Now fast forward to April 2017, keeping in mind that we didn’t really talk since November 2016 other than in class. In April we were both on a school trip to New York, and we started talking again. Boy oh boy all the fucking feelings rushed back. Since that trip to New York, we’ve gone back to Stratford, and have multiple classes a day together. We talk so much and it seems to be the exact same as it was before he started dating this girl. Sometimes I kind of forget that he has a girlfriend (she doesn’t go to our school) because we’ll just be flirting and I’ll have to stop myself and tell myself to back off because he has a girlfriend. I know it sounds bad to think that he’s flirting with me when he’s in a relationship of over a year, but your girl’s been dealing with him for years, I know that he is flirting. I know that I have no right to step in and tell him how I feel though because he is so happy with her and I had my chance. But fuck, I miss him so much.

So yeah, thanks for actually reading all that about a guy I’ve been into for the past 2 years and have done nothing about. If you have any advice, you know I need it.

Ps. This was written in one go, sorry if it’s jumpy or incomprehensible.. I’m sure you can piece it together😅