Sister in law is prego and I’m an emotional wreck 😭

My sister-in-law is pregnant with baby #3 she has been pregnant 4x this year but kept having miscarriages.. The doctors finally figured out what was wrong and have her on some medication to help her carry the new baby full-term. Since she has had so many miscarriages this year she has to go to the doctor every week and get ultrasound.

I’m sure this is incredibly hard for her and losing a baby is not easy. But for some reason I can not emotionally handle hearing about her pregnancy or think about it this time around. My husband and I have not been able to get pregnant. We had a miscarriage three years ago (2 weeks before she announced she was pregnant with baby #2) and haven’t been able to get pregnant since. I don’t even understand why I am so emotional. We decided to take a break and I am losing weight right now and trying to get my body healthy so we can try again in 6ish month. At that time we will go thru whatever fertility things we need to go through.

I’m just an emotional wreck. On New Year’s eve they came over and my mother-in-law was making comments about how shes showing so early this time and as soon as they left I just cried on and off all night. My husband is watching her other 2 kids today while she goes to her doctors appointment. He asked if I wants to get lunch with all of them after and I told him I could do it today. He said he understood but I feel so stupid. I haven’t told anyone but my husband what’s going on with me because i don’t want to put a damper on her pregnancy. She has been pregnant 6x in the last 3 years and I can’t get pregnant once.