Get back on pill or rely on condoms?

I recently got off birth control pills. I am responsible about my sexual health, but I do not want an IUD or pills or anything. But I am concerned if what if I do not know if the condom breaks if there was like a microscopic tear..

I am not against the pill, but idk if the pill is causing my apathy issues (making me completely emotionless) or not...

Im just really sad and upset and dont know what the best option is for me. :( Id love to take the pill but I just dont know the effect it is or isnt having on me...