Thinking too hard

The hospital took a picture of my son when he passed away and told me whenever I decided I wanted it I can have it...I didn't want any pictures of my son because when he passed away he was really swollen and looked nothing like himself. I didn't want to remember him that way...I regret soooo much not taking a picture of him the day of his funeral...he looked nothing like the day he passed away in the hospital...he was no longer swollen and looked like himself, so perfect but I was so caught up in saying my goodbyes that I didn't think of taking one and I regret it so muchhhhh and hate myself for it!! It would of been the most perfect, most peaceful picture ughhhh 💔 I had no idea that he was going to look so different. I thought he was going to remain the same 😭😭😭😭😢😢😢