I’m 15 weeks pregnant with our first baby. The majority of the pregnancy I have been really sick with nausea and vomiting. I was prescribed zofran to help control it. Now I can go a few days without it, but I’m dehydrated because I vomit any liquid I consume. It’s been hell. So far, I really dislike pregnancy.

My dear husband has been very supportive. He cooks if I can’t. And he’s been kinda taking care of the house. Which I’m really grateful. Well, he’s fed up of doing it all. At least most of the time since I started feeling better. (Like a week ago). But is the third time we had an argument about he’s the one doing everything. Working, cleaning, taking care of everything. He is in the army currently in ait. So, he wakes up at 4 to go to PT and then goes to army school 7:30-5:30. Shock okay that’s a lot of hours and I understand. He also gets breaks and 1 hour and 30 mins of lunch time. Which I’m always there with cooked food if I’m feeling good or fast food if I keep getting nauseous and vomiting. So I understand it sucks. He says he understands I don’t feel my greatest but he feels like he’s the only one in the family.

The other day, I had an argument with my mom, because I called her not knowing what to do. I had a headache for four days and it wouldn’t go away. I avoided taking anything from it like she always beg me to. So instead of supporting me and advising me. She started bitching about how weak I have become since I got pregnant. That I am taking to the extreme. That just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t do stuff. But she hasn’t been there to really see how I get. I live in Arizona and she lives in Florida. My grandma is on the same boat as well. But she has the guts to tell me that I need to be more active so my husband values me more. I went ahead and told her that if he doesn’t value me right now for who I am then he is not worthy of me. My family is Hispanic and very machista.

So, my husband have said with nice words that I’m useless, so have my mom and grandma.

And is really bringing me down.

About two weeks ago I had to go to the doctor because I kept spotting for a whole week. He told me to rest and not to lift anything over 20 pounds. My husband doesn’t take it seriously and thinks I’m exaggerating. My mom and grandma tell me to rest but then when I do. They bitch about it.

So today since my loving husband said I’m extremely lazy. I got up around 10pm and started furiously cleaning the floors. I was out of it and losing it. I kept going to the the bathroom to lock myself in and cry. I kinda put a lot of bleach in the cleaning water mixed with fabuloso and started carrying the heavy bucket all over the house in front of him. So if tomorrow I’m in pain or something or something happens I just feel like blaming it on them. This is what they wanted.

I know I can do a lot of stuff. And that being pregnant doesn’t prevent me from living my everyday life. But it’s frightening when you don’t know what to expect. When you are not used to having something 24/7 inside of you growing. When you can’t keep food down or even water. That your vomits are so violent that you pee your pants almost every time. And when you have been spotting at from week 12 to the middle of Week 13. And you are just so afraid that it could happen again if you push yourself too much.

Omg I’m sorry for the long post but I need to take it out of my chest and I don’t nobody I know would understand.

***UPDATE***

So the night I wrote this I took my pillow and went to the extra room for the night. We ended up not talking. The next day I kinda didn’t leave the room unless he wasn’t in the house which ended up being all morning and most of the afternoon. We are both stubborn so we didn’t talk to each other. But it started getting to him so he sent me a huge long message. The longest he ever sent me in our relationship. He said he wasn’t going to apologize because he feels he’s opinion is right. Which I understand. Opinions are not right, nor wrong. But he did told me he loves me and he cares for my feelings and that he will try harder. He said he felt worse that he felt in all of his previous relationship and he felt worse than the time we almost broke up a long time ago. But if we were able to overcome it then, we can overcome anything. He said he needed me in every way and a bunch of nice things. So I responded back and I opened up and explained him how I felt and how I feel most day and how I understand is hard for both of us and that I appreciate him for everything he’s doing for us. So, after he came back from his shift we hugged and kiss and we laughed. And we asked and told each other things (random things like Facebook videos, memes and stuffs) that we’ve been wanting to share but wouldn’t because we are both so stubborn.

I feel a lot better and I want to thank all of you for being so nice and supportive. You guys helped us. Thank you!!!