A mess

So I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years. We both recently went to college and our college choices were far away. He was already diagnosed with depression and anxiety, so he takes meds for that. He started messing with the harder drugs until he got a “mental snap” blamed the whole thing on me. He broke up with me during that mental snap. He attempted suicide 4 times went to the mental hospital and im trying to find closure but hes high all the time and can get very rude when he is. We need to talk but idk how and idk when. I cry like everyday. This has been the hardest thing to deal with.