If I had to choose one word for this birth, it would be “intense”...

Starting with the day before she was born.. Saturday I was so tired and irritable all day. Had an upset stomach, but no other symptoms aside from those. Laid down in bed with Rowan at around 8:00 that night. Probably fell asleep at about 9ish. Woke up at 11:20 to pee, fell back asleep and then at 12:30 exactly (I looked at my phone to check) I had my first contraction. Woke me up immediately. I knew this was different from the false labor ones I had had a few days before. It was strong and powerful from the very beginning. Opened the timer app and started timing. Next one was 11:12 after the first. They went from 11 to 7 minutes within the hour. All lasting longer than a minute, including the first one. Still every single contraction was strong and intense. As strong as the ones I experienced during transition was Rowan. I was a little nervous thinking about how in the world I’d stay on top of these for hours upon hours if I had to. I called my mom at 2am - she told me to get up and try walking around, drink some tea and see what happened. That was not fun. They got even stronger and closer together. By 2:30am, they were about 4.5 minutes apart. I was really having for focus on relaxing my hands, mouth, and shoulders and breathe through. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to get into the tub at the birth center because I knew it would ease up some of the pressure. With every contraction from that point, I could feel her head moving down and it felt like my water was going to burst at any second. Told my mom it was time to come. Her and Andrea headed this way! After talking to her, I got up and dressed, woke Taylor up and after a few more contractions (still about 4-4.5 minutes apart, lasting a minute and a half) to call his mom to head over. I had originally said “tell her she doesn’t need to rush” but I’m glad she did! I then had him call the midwife, which I think was around 3:30, right before my mom and Andrea showed up. Bethany was on call, and she said she’d be at the birth center in about 25 minutes. I thought, okay, we’ve got plenty of time! At this point I had gone from laying in bed, then sitting, then to the bathroom, then to hands and knees, leaning on my yoga ball in the living room. I remember one contraction while sitting on my bed, I had to lean back and hold my butt up with my hands a little and I could feel her head move down slowly. Such a surreal feeling. A minute after my mom came, I had a 2.5 minute long contraction and needed her to push on my lower back through it. Every contraction after that, I need that strong pressure on my back to make it through. Thinking back, that contraction was obviously the beginning of transition and I didn’t quite realize it because everything had been so strong from the first one. Still, contractions were only like 3.5 minutes apart.. I had maybe two that were a little less than three minutes, but for the most part, 3.5 - 4 was the average. After a few leaning on the ball, I decided to get changed into my bathing suit top just to be ready to leave whenever it was time. Grabbed my stuff and headed to the bathroom. Had one mildish contraction (mild for this labor, anyways) and then got dressed super quick, and then a huge one, and at the end of it, I started feeling pushy. I yelled for my mom. She helped me through the next one by pushing on my back. Body starting pushing again. I told her and she told me to stop. I yelled at her “ I can’t stop, I can’t control it!” I was super grumpy by this point and couldn’t stand anyone talking through the contractions 😂 I told her we had to go NOW. I asked if Joye had gotten here yet, and she had, just then. Thank god! I think I yelled to Taylor that Millie was coming and we had to leave right this second. I didn’t have time to get shoes or a coat on. Luckily I was wearing slippers. Grabbed a blanket off the couch and waddled as fast as I could out to the car. Finley was in the living room (they had been camping out on the floor that night) and I told him I loved him. Taylor threw the stuff in the back and we took off. We live a mile away from the birth center, thank the lord. I had one contraction right before we backed out and my body was pushing hard. We pulled in, and Taylor ran to the door, and it was locked. Bethany wasn’t there yet. My mom opened the door to the car and I heard that, and freaked. Yelled at her to shut the door, had another pushing contraction and yelled “I’m gonna have this baby in the car!” I could feel her head moving down. I reached and felt, but didn’t feel her head quite yet. I then looked out the window (I had been sitting on my knees, leaning backwards on the seat) and saw someone unlock the birth center door. The nurse had gotten there literally a minute or two before us - I hopped out of the car as fast as I could. Super waddled, said to the nurse, Sarah, as I was walking in “I’m already pushing” and then followed her to the room. She asked my name and wheeled in the cart with everything she needed. I leaned against the side of the bed as Taylor tried to figure out how to fill the tub. She got the Doppler out and was trying to find Millie’s heartbeat, but couldn’t figure out where she was, and I was getting a little irritated. Bethany showed up at some point during that, the nurse found her heartbeat, low on the right side, then said she needed to listen through a contraction. I was still pushing. Grunting. Unable to stop it. Bethany said it’d be a good idea to take my pants off after that contraction. I needed to go to the bathroom first. Ran in there, prayed I wouldn’t have a contraction on the toilet. Thankfully didn’t! Walked back out, looked at the tub and noticed it still wasn’t ready. I remember Taylor noticing and saying “I know you’re trying so hard to hold out until it’s filled!” I told him if he was going to get his swim shorts on to get in with me, now was the time. Had another contraction, then he went to change. I turned around and looked at Bethany and asked her if she needed to check me or anything.. she giggled and said “nope!” (I had zero cervical checks throughout the pregnancy and labor) I turned around and braced for another contraction. I felt her head move down again. I reached down and could feel her crowning. Body kept pushing and her head was slowly still coming. Bethany said to just breathe slowly and let her come. I did. Felt a little burning, my water then broke all over my hand, and the floor, and her head came out with it, and then immediately her body. At 4:13am, January 7th, I was holding my daughter in my hands, with Bethany down below helping so she didn’t fall on the ground. Taylor then came out of the bathroom as I was lifting her up onto the bed. He was literally in there for one minute, so he was shocked (as was I) at how fast it happened. He said he didn’t think anything was happening other than another contraction because my tone hadn’t changed. Just the same primal grunting sound I had made before. (The sound is as uncontrollable as the urge to push is.) I cannot even describe how amazing it felt, to reach down, feel her head, the pop and gush of the water, feel every bit of her body come into my hands. I birthed and caught my own baby. How many women get to experience that anymore?! I stood there for a few minutes looking at her happily, and in shock. Waited for the cord to stop pulsing, then Taylor got to cut it. He grabbed her and did skin to skin while I climbed on the bed to deliver the placenta. Super uncomfortable. After all that, I had zero tearing! Once we were settled, Bethany and Sarah figured out that we had been at the birth center for a total of 11 minutes before Millie was born. I couldn’t believe it!

After I got all cleaned up, I snuggled in with Millie and she latched on right away. After awhile, they weighed and measured her and checked her over. 6lbs 14oz and 19inches. Head and chest were both 33cm. So when Sam (the other midwife I saw at my last appointment) felt her and guessed “right under 7lbs” she was spot on! My itty bitty little girl! Born at exactly 38 weeks. Joye brought the boys up shortly after, and they immediately fell in love. They were ooh-ing and ahh-ing over her tiny fingers and toes, and her little ears and nose. They kissed her and loved on her, and then of course went to explore the birth center. And ended up taking a shower in the giant bathroom, and swinging on the birthing swing 😂

From start to finish, my labor was 3 hours and 43 minutes. I had a feeling the whole pregnancy that it would be quick, but not THAT quick! It explains why my contractions were so intense and strong from the start. My body and Millie worked so hard together and I had the most amazing experience. I didn’t have another waterbirth like I had planned, and my mom didn’t get to catch Millie like we had planned, but she got to be there and help me through my labor, and Andrea got to experience her first niece being born, and took absolutely amazing pictures, and I got to bring my daughter into this world with my own hands. I cannot thank God enough for this experience. The fact that Bethany trusted me and my body to birth the way I wanted and needed to, made me feel so confident and strong. I can’t even explain how proud I am of myself. I am so thankful for how different my three births have been. Hard, peaceful, and intense. But all so beautiful. Every woman deserves to feel this strong and empowered! We are home now (we were home by 10am yesterday - 6 hours after Millie was born) and enjoying all the newborn snuggles. The boys are doing so amazing with her. Coming in to hold and kiss her constantly. I love this big family 💜