Dragging people down (HELP)

Since I was 11-12 years old I’ve had depression. It never goes away permanently. I have my good days and my bad days. I go through life and do my best to be happy. It doesn’t always work. I try to live by do what makes you happy and eliminate what doesn’t.

Lately the bad days have been getting worse. And I fear that what I say brings people down. The suicidle thoughts have been more frequent on a bad day and I fear that talking about it hurts those around me (my mom and boyfriend) they both support me but I can’t keep hurting them. Life is tough and I feel like giving up because my hard work disappears on bad days.

The doctor has changed my medication but I don’t know if that’s helping and I just want to sleep or cry a lot.

I need help but I don’t know what to do because it feels like nothing is working and I don’t want to hurt people anymore then I have.