In my experience, the reasons I’ve heard of people wanting children include things like:

-they want to expand their family

-they want their kids to have siblings

-they want someone to love or love them

-seems like the logical next step

-want to witness and facilitate someone’s growth

Reason I’m asking:

I lost a sibling to suicide when I was a teenager. It was heartbreaking and most people’s perspective on suicide is how selfish it is because of the pain it causes to family, amongst other things. For a long time, I subscribed to this thinking. Over time though, I realized that none of us ask to be born. We don’t get to choose to come into the world, let alone choose our parents, race, religion, country, socioeconomic status, family structure, etc. and yet are fully expected to stick around and rise above or thrive in or from whatever we were born into. Instead of understanding that someone else chose for us to be here and allowing us to decide what our life looks like or how long it lasts while we’re here, we judge pretty harshly.

So it leads me to wondering... is there any selfless reason to have children?

It seems from the onset, it benefits only those choosing to reproduce and not the child.

I have a child already and am TTC currently, and I grapple with this. I feel extremely selfish for wanting to grow my family, so I’m genuinely curious for the thoughts of others. I believe kids are a beacon of hope for the future, for change, but it’s still at their expense and without their input.

*Please do not turn this into a topic on suicide. That’s not the discussion. Please also be respectful of others, as we’re all allowed differing opinions and may learn something from each other.