CONTROLLING ??

So my husband and I have been together for over 8yrs. I was a cigarette smoker and a drinker when we first meet. I was very open about it so he knew about it. I feel like when it's okay with him he doesn't mind if I smoke cigarettes, drink or do anytjing else. Seems like as long as he us doing it, it okay but as soon as he stops my whole world is supposed to stop as well. Like I'm only allowed to smoke a cigarette or drink a beer whenever he is in his faze that he is. He doesn't communicate that if he is trying to stop because I understand that it makes it harder to stop when other especially one close to you havent . No, he feels that he should out of the blue tell me how nasty it is, how bad it smells, treat me like dirt and completely ignore me. THEN the following the week be okay with it. When he starts smoking or drinking again. Mind you me smoking put a TONE of stress on our marriage. He said that's why he wasn't intimate with me, he wouldn't even kiss me to him being okay with it and starting to smoke a half a year later .Same thing with me drinking a beer.