I’m torn, help!

My boyfriend (or maybe ex at this point) and I have been together 7 years this month. We’ve had our ups and downs but overall, he was my best friend and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. In 2016, we bought a house together, and I quit my job to go to law school. Last year, he took me to pick out a ring and has been making payments on it since then. In August, we lost our home from the flooding during Hurricane Harvey and he literally saved my life when we had to evacuate. Since then, I’ve loved him in a whole new way.

While I’m not completely innocent, I’ve never actually cheated on him (physically or emotionally). However, majority of our relationship issues are trust issues on my behalf because I’ve caught him in some shady situations and he’s lied about things that I already knew the truth about. Up until now, I’m not sure if he’s actually ever cheated or done anything wrong. It’s something that’s really taken a toll on our relationship and has caused a lot of arguments and we had been planning on going to counseling to try to work through things.

Saturday, he left his Apple Watch at home and I was able to guess the password. The first text message was from a girl he works with. He’s been telling her he loves her, can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her, that 2018 will be their year, calling her gorgeous and beautiful, telling her how happy she makes him, etc. There was a second message with another girl where he was trying to fuck her. I don’t know if he’s actually physically done anything with either of them.

I confronted him when he got home that evening and he didn’t even try to lie (I’m sure he could see it all over my face). He said he’s been talking to the first girl for maybe a couple months. He didn’t have a whole lot to say. He did imply that me accusing him of things all the time was tiring and led to this because talking to this other girl was “easy.” He said that he didn’t mean the things he said to her and that he still loved me and wants to be with me and work things out and was even able to show me emails where he was making a counseling appointment. However, who knows how he really feels.

My initial thought was to leave. To be done for good. I’m so heartbroken by this and can’t see any way where I’ll be able to move past what he’s done. After the last few days of being an absolute wreck, I’ve been going back and forth with myself about whether I should fight for us. Whether we should do counseling and try to work through it. Because 7 years is a long time to just throw away, right?

So I left and have been staying with friends and family since then. Soon, I need to go back and figure out what my long term plan is — do I leave him? Or try to work it out?

Any input or advice would be so appreciated!