Lost a twin

I’m about 9 weeks pregnant and we found out yesterday that I was originally pregnant with twins and lost one of them around 5-6 weeks (via ultrasound). It’s a weird feeling knowing I lost a little one that never really had a chance to grow. Part of me knows that when these things happen early, there may be something wrong genetically or maybe I’m just not built for carrying twins.

But I can’t help but think back a few weeks to what I was doing and wondering if I did something wrong. Was that the day my 4 year old nephew kicked me in the belly? Was that when I slipped and fell on the ice in my driveway? Did I accidentally sleep on my belly?

We used clomid after trying for a year and a half and we’re still so excited, as the ultrasound showed 1 healthy little one moving around with a strong heart beat. My husband took it pretty hard too. He wants to give the child a name, but I think that would make me too sad. How would our child’s life be different if they had a twin to share their life with?

Needless to say, I’m now worried about possibly losing this baby now too. Although my morning sickness has gotten much worse, which I’ve been told is a sign of a strong pregnancy. I guess I’ll just try to stay calm and hope for the best.