Sorry this is so long, I kept thinking of details to add.

Here’s the situation. My grandfather just turned 90. There’s a Cold War going on in my family over inheritance. I’m not really involved because I don’t particularly like spending time thinking or talking about what my piece of the pie will be when my grandfather dies, it’s not exactly the best way to come into money IMO and it makes me sad.

My grandparents were born in 1917 and 1927. They saved every penny they ever made. Never went on vacation, never bought anything new. Never bought anything that wasn’t on sale. Fixed things they found in the garbage to sell, I still thread needles for my 90 year old grandfather whenever I visit so he can stitch his own clothes. They are millionaires. My grandmother passed in 2009 and left it all to my grandfather.

My grandfather lives like a homeless man and never spent any of the money. Literally, a Nun gave him money during the holiday once because she thought he was in need based on his appearance. Don’t worry, my dad repaid her, made a donation and told her the truth.

My grandparents have three living sons, three grandchildren and one great grandchild.

Oldest has been divorced and lost everything twice, financially stable now, has no debt. Has two sons who are both active heroine addicts in and out of rehab who own nothing and are not financially stable due to their addictions. All have been estranged from my grandfather since about 2005, none even attended my grandmothers funeral.

Second son is single and has no children. Is also a self made millionaire with no debts. Maintained a relationship with my grandfather until 2015 when he and my grandfather had a falling out, not sure of the details but it involves money and my uncles relationship with my estranged uncle.

Youngest son, my dad. Divorced for 28 years, financially stable, no debt. visits my grandfather weekly, takes him to appointments and buys him groceries. I’m his only child, I am married with one son. I visit my grandfather several times a year (we live in different states) I am financially stable with a mortgage and a car payment.

I just got off the phone with my dad who gives me unsolicited updates. My grandparents originally had a will that split everything between the three brothers. My grandfather apparently had a will written that does not include my oldest uncle or his two children, but added me. From my oldest uncles perspective. He believes the money should be split between the three brothers evenly honoring my grandmothers wishes OR the three brothers AND the three grandchildren.

Here are my questions. First, what’s your take on the above situation / Who would you leave what? Second, is it acceptable for someone to change a will that was originally written by spouses to something different than what the deceased spouse wanted.