Any Successful Relationships Even After Having Sex before Marriage?

Question

I would like to know if there are any couples who are currently married but they didn't necessarily wait until marriage to have sex. If so, explain to me your journey and was it worth it? 
I'm currently in a relationship with someone I really love. Long story short it's been a little over two years,  and we know we want to get married, but we also are working on our finances at the moment. It's something we talk about and are working towards together. However, We also have sex even though we aren't married yet and it took me 2 years to have sex with him. And even a year to even touch or kiss him. 
I have so many people telling me it won't work. Or that he'll never marry me  because I gave up the goods. Or that my self esteem is low and I'm settling  because I don't want to be lonely. or Ive had people question my faith as a  Christian saying Im going to Hell and  Im not "saved enough."
I try not to listen to the negativity, because I don't believe any of that is true about me and I also believe it comes off slightly judgemental. 
The one thing I can say is that after our first time, I never questioned if he would leave me or look at me as a hoe or treat me disrespectful. or treat me any different than before. Who he was before sex is who he still is now. We talked about marriage looong before sex. and talk about it just as much, if not more, now. 
I know marriage isn't official u til he proposes and I get a ring, but I want to know what you guys think. 
I just want to know where are the couples who got married and everything was not done by every little rule in the Bible and the couple is happy and loves one another? 
Are they out there? I would love to chat about this.

Answer

I am a Christian and I waited for marriage to have sex, so I know I’m not really the person this post is aimed at, but I’d like to throw in my two cents!
The first thing I want to say is what on Earth is “saved enough”? If you are saved, you are saved and that’s that. There are no levels to salvation. You either are or you aren’t. So if you have been saved by the Lord, trust in Him that you are saved.
People will always have opinions about things and will differ on the way they see things. To me, a sin is a sin. So I didn’t have sex before marriage, but I have told lies before... therefore I’m no better or worse than you just because our sins are different. Ask the people who are criticising you for your decision if they have ever sinned before. 
At the end of the day, your sex life is your business between you and your partner, not anyone else. If you pray, pray to the Lord for guidance and ask Him what He wants you to do. If you feel He is telling you to stop until you are married, then you should listen to Him. Don’t listen to other people who are all in the same sinful boat as everyone else.
Good luck and blessings ✨

Answer

I think you don’t need to worry about what people say, but instead look at it from God’s perspective. He’s the one you should be aiming to please. 
There are countless people who had sex before marriage and are perfectly happy. Of course, that could be you too. If your man loves you he will stay with you. 
However, if you’re really wanting to please God and do the right thing, you need to realise what you’re doing wrong and fix it. 
God forgives freely, but to get his forgiveness we need to repent of our old ways and do the right thing. 
The bible is very clear on the matter of sex. Sex is a gift that should be enjoyed by married couples only. You don’t need to be super rich to get married. As long as you’re legally married, which means only having the marriage certificate, that’s good enough.
You guys will probably have the most amazing relationship ever (I pray you do and wish you the best) but it doesn’t change the fact that sex before marriage is a sin. And you are unrepentantly living in sin if you knowingly carry on doing it.

Answer

My husband and I had sex before we were married.  I won’t say that I wasn’t convicted of it, because I was.  I knew it was wrong and I spent time crying about it.  Him and I would discuss it and decide not to do it anymore, would make it a few months and then eventually do it again.  It was hard because we were engaged, love each other madly and wanted to express that love with each other. We are creatures of the flesh and we are weak sinners; we failed over and over and kept trying.  Eventually, we ended up married and didn’t have to worry about it anymore, but I am beyond thankful that I serve a God that accepts me as I am, knows I am a wretch and a failure and still doesn’t expect me to be anything else than the beautiful failure that I am :).  He knew my heart and that I loved Jesus and wanted to please Him but had a weakness for the man I loved.  
We have an absolutely wonderful marriage!  We operate as an extension of each other, we communicate wonderfully.  He is my best friend, I love him more and more everyday and I am beyond blessed that we are soon to be parents of our first child together.  
Also, as previously stated by another, there is no such thing as “saved enough.”  People get hung up on the “rules”, which is a bunch of bs.  You know what God cares about?!  Do you love God with all of your heart?  Do you have a relationship with his son Jesus and strive to be like Him?  The closer you are with Jesus, the more God uses the Holy Spirit to change your heart to be like Jesus.  Do you love others around you?  Do you show them Jesus’ love?  Of course God cares about the things we do and He wants us to always strive to be better, but the good news is that He already knows we can never be perfect and He doesn’t expect us to!  He loves us the way we are and He wants a relationship with us where we stand as we are.  You can’t earn your way into heaven, it is given freely by His grace to those who love Him and you were already bought by Jesus’ sacrifice!  If it all came down to keeping a tally of rules, there would be no winners bc we would never live up to that!

Answer

12 years together only 5 years of marriage. My Pastor finally set us straight when he said....."what are you waiting for?"  We didn't wait till marriage. We are both Christians. My life is beyond blessed. My husband treats me like a queen. Not waiting didn't change the way he treated me then or now. Faith can be difficult. It's not a straight path their are many wrong turns. But those wrong turns are what bring you closer finding out who you really are and what you stand for. I dont regret anything we did because it has made us who we are. Mistakes and all....I wouldn't change a thing. My relationship is successful because my husband and I both work on it being so, and because I don't listen to negative people telling me what will or wont happen in MY life.

Answer

We had sex after we got engaged. Then we felt guilty and waited until marriage. We’ve been married a little over 5 years now, and we’re still going strong.

Answer

I would suggest that you both just pray about it and ask the Lord to forgive and guide your path together. don't be fooled by the world into believing a marriage is equal to the size and exuberance of the wedding ceremony because it's not. You can go to the courts or registrar or have  tiny wedding with only few family or witnesses and still have a happy lifelong marriage. you both want marriage so I would suggest you do it soon. people will always talk about others salvation but God thoughts and ways are higher than humans. He will forgive and grant you grace and mercies if you are sincere and make him the centre and king of your relationship. all the best to you both.

Answer

And marriage shouldn't be about you or a successful relationship! 
If you are Christian marriage is about glorifying Him through the love and commitment you share through marriage.
Sounds like you guys need some pre marriage counseling .

Answer

Bottom line is this....
Marriage is an earthly way we as humans demonstrate and live out the covenant God has made with his church.
So if you think that Jesus took a short cut cuz he knew he was gonna die on the cross the. Go ahead.... 
But he didn't. He stayed the course and asks all of us to do the same. All simply to GLORIFY HIM AND SHOW THE WORLD WE ARE DIFFERENT!
If you choose to live like the world then you are telling God that your way is better than His, no way around it.

Answer

I’m an engagement baby (so, sorry, I can’t help with the chat thing). After 23 years, my prenatal are still going strong, but it’s definitely been with difficulty. They’ve felt the shame for what happened and have definitely had to go through a time of repenting. Finances were tough when they first got married because they weren’t ready to be. Definitely what you’re hearing is wrong and “saved enough” is such bull I could write sermons on it (I’m a pastor by the way). There is no “degrees of salvation.” It’s totally binary; off or on. I’m sorry you’ve had no one help you and guide you in this time and I can understand your anger. Please, though, don’t turn against God in this way. The end of your post worried me a bit and I just wanted to ask you not to spurn God’s direction. It’s good, it’s just that people mess it up. The marriage can still work out and if you are saved at all you are “saved enough,” but please talk to God about this. Any sin separates us from God (not eternally unless one is not saved, but always relationally) and He always wants to restore us to Him.

Any Successful Relationships Even After Having Sex before Marriage?

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