What is your husband’s or partner’s opinion on pain meds for the delivery process?

💫 Cèla 💫

I’m just curious because my husband is very opinionated about it. He thinks I should deliver the all natural way without pain medication. I personally feel that is an incredibly unfair thing for him to say to me. I’m the one that will hopefully carry a baby one day and I may want to deliver it naturally and I may not. I do think it should be my choice. I will be the one to experience the pain of it, and I want to be able to be tentative after the delivery and not focused on the pain I’m in. Not to mention if I’m anything like my mother, I will end up having a c-section. What do people say about that? You should feel the pain of an invasive surgery too?

107 views • 0 upvotes • 26 comments

COMMENT (26)

Je

Posted at
kick him in the balls for at least 12 hours straight and tell him he cant have any pain relief and see how he feels.

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
😂 Omg, you’re hilarious! Hahaha! It’s funny because he’s afraid of needles and going to the dentist. And yet he thinks it’s ok to tell me how to deliver a human being. 👌

Je

Jerr • Jan 31, 2018
😂😂😂😂 yes

Pa

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He doesn’t get an opinion because he has not and will not ever go through it!

Pa

Paige • Jan 31, 2018
My SO jokingly says I should do it naturally but he obviously knows it’s my choice!

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
Amen. ✊ Glad so many other women feel the same way. It was starting to really piss me off. Still does obviously. Lol

Ka

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Hes open to whatever I'm open to. I want to go all natural but I'm not opposed to pain meds if I need them. More for keeping my anxiety under control than anything else, if need be. He's supportive of that. Originally it was going to just be the two of us in the delivery room but I've since asked to have my mom there since shes done 3 natural births, one at 16. I feel like she'll be a tremendous help during that time and he's supportive of that as well. Pretty much anything and everything I want at that time he's going with it. Of course if he has concerns or opinions during this pregnancy, I listen to him and take it into consideration but in the end he leaves it up to me.

Ca

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He’s opinionated for a reason. Ask him his reasons. It’s your body, but you made this child together and he deserves to voice his opinion and have you listen. Maybe he’s worried about the side effects from an epidural? Ultimately, you decide what’s put into your body, but don’t write him off without listening.

Je

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My SO has no say in whether i get an epidural. But he has mentioned hes fine with it.

CB

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My mom and my sister have both delivered naturally and are very opinionated about it. I'm certain my mom will want me to do it naturally and while that does sound great in theory, I'm not 100% convinced. I'm not even pregnant yet, but my SO has already assured me he will support whatever I decide and will be happy to distract my mom and sister or tell them to shove it if they get judgemental in the moment. I think its probably smart to research pain meds vs natural birth, but I've read enough birth stories on this app to know that it doesn't always go as planned. It is YOUR body, not your husband's or anyone else's. The choice is completely up to you. Explain that firmly to your husband. Maybe even have him read some birth stories so he gets a grasp of what it's like. Hopefully he will come around!

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
Yea she has been a hot topic for arguments between us, so for him to compare me to her on a topic like this one really hits the hot button for me. I could go through a really rough pregnancy but it wouldn’t matter because his mom would still be held in higher esteem than me. It’s annoying and it does pi** me off from time to time. He’s actually gotten better about it.

CB

CB • Jan 31, 2018
Yuck I'm sorry he's comparing you to his mother. That's completely unfair and that alone would PI** me off royally. He probably doesn't realize how much work carrying and delivering a baby really are. Personally I would try to get him to do some research, or read him some birth stories. Good luck!

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
I think that’s part of the problem. His mother(who he idolizes, delivered him and his sister naturally. Not 100% sure on that really. He just thinks that’s what she did) It never helps that there was someone close you to, before you, that did it the “better way.” He’ll have to come around really. I guess it just annoys me because it feels as though I’m being looked down on, and after carrying a baby for 10 months because that’s so easy. Lol

Co

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is there any reason why he cares? does it effect the baby in any way? im pretty sure my husband wouldnt care, and ill decide if i ever do conceive

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
Yea we will definitely research it when the time comes, and he will get a full explanation from the obstetrician too. I’ll make sure of that.

Co

Co • Jan 31, 2018
hhm ok. i was thinking maybe theres a legit medical reason for the baby. right now i only research fertility stuff, not pregnancy stuff lol. i can sort of understand where hes coming from. i used to hold my husband to certain standards because i grew up with an awesome dad. i had to mature a little to apprecriate him for handling situations differently than how my family did. i think you guys will just have to research those things together and he'll come around.

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
Oh also,.. there’s the stigma that using pain meds means your baby comes out medicated? Which I haven’t researched extensively, but I will in the future.

Ch

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It's 100% your choice. I can only have c-sections and there's no way they would let you go unmedicated throughout that, unless maybe in some emergency situations. A vaginal delivery is probably going to be painful no matter what, so why make it worse if you dont want to and don't have to?

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
That’s what I’m saying.

Ch

Chelsea • Jan 31, 2018
Exactly. You can have the most organized birthing plan ever and it could just go right out the window when that time comes. You do what you think is right. No vagina, no opinion.

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
I agree. Not being in pain will allow me to focus on such a special moment. Not that I am dead set on the medicated route, but I should be able to do it how it want to. Not to mention the last 2 people close to us that delivered a baby, both went into it expecting to do it naturally and ended up taking the epidural. So. Who knows.

Je

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Not his choice. It is his baby too but that is YOUR body. I had one natural all the way and one with the epidural. My husband supported both but was mad at me for not getting the epidural lol he said he was upset I had to go through the pain. *ps It wasn't so bad*

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
Thank you. I’ll have to come back and update this after I actually get pregnant. Haha

Se

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My SO is empowering for whatever kind of birth I want, the only thing is when we do conceive in the future he wants to make sure I take care of my body and eat right.

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💫 Cèla 💫 • Jan 31, 2018
That’s how it should be!