the suspense

9 days away from finding out if I'll be adding a new bundle to my family of 3 and I am bricking it, i want this more than anything and tried harder than anything this cycle, however after the fertile week a lot of really bad stuff happend for my family and we need to tackle it all head on together. so made this choice that if my uterus doesn't grant our wishes then this year or at least till maybe September when my son goes to primary school (UK) we wont be trying so we won't be welcoming a 2018 baby, such a hard choice because I want it more than anything but to actively add more stress If it didn't happen this month would be too much, so the suspense of this next 9 days is going to kill me I want it to happen so so bad because I know if it doesn't it won't for a while. sending baby dust to the community hopefully a long drawn out January just answered most of our wishes.