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Everything Happens for A Reason

I lost my angel 01/18/18.

It’s been 3 weeks and I had started to feel better and hopefully to try again but...

Well the past few days I started to notice that maybe my baby just wasn’t meant to come to this world to suffer.

My husband and I have been having the roughest time with his drinking 🍺. He had stopped drinking before we got pregnant to make me happy.

Well he started again and it’s been driving me crazy. It upsets me because he really doesn’t have a legitimate reason for it and he becomes a person I just don’t love. I feel like I see the Devil in his eyes.

While intoxicated he has physically abused me. I’ve forgiven him time and time again but I’m just not looking forward to another incident. I love him to death but not enough to live in this cycle.

I want my baby so bad but not bad enough to have him and just hurt him because his father and I can’t get along due to his drinking.

I sat him down tonight to talk about the issue and he said that he loves me to death and really loves when we get along and enjoy each other but that he doesn’t know why he can’t stop drinking. He couldn’t give me a valid reason behind the drinking.

In my heart I wished he said he was coping but that’s not even the reason. He simple doesn’t know. And he doesn’t want to seek help.

I’m contemplating just dissolving our marriage all together. He’s causing me more harm than Good .