I have a restraining order against my child’s father. I’ve been renewing the restraining order yearly since 2015. I had to get the restraining order when my son was 3 months.

My son is 2 1/2 and says he wants his daddy. I have show him pictures of his father but he doesn’t know him. The last time I let him see my son was when my son was 4 days old. I brought the baby to his house so he could see him. I was living with my mother at the time and he was not allowed at her house because of how disrespectful he was during my pregnancy. He was abusive my entire pregnancy. Anyway, while at his house he got upset and threatened to punch me and told me that he’s keeping the baby and he will buy him formula (I breastfed). I left the house with the baby inside because I was afraid and didn’t want the situation to escalate. That was the last time he seen my son after I had to call the police.

My sons father also has mental health issues. He is currently in jail for violating his probation and violating the restraining order by contacting me and leaving threatening messages. I want my son to see is father and have him in his life but I’m afraid. There are so many men with mental health issues who hurt their kids and even muster the mothers. I don’t want that to be me. Because the guy is mentally ill idk if something in his head marked me as evil. The only way I will let him near my son is with supervised visitation.

I feel hurt and sad that my son has a father but doesn’t know who he is. It hurts more when my son cried on the floor because he wants to see his daddy. Idk what to do. Any feedback and support is appreciated.

Thank you.