I tried not to cry😢

I had my doctors appt today for my 1st ultrasound, not the fun kind. It was to check my ovaries and uterus and all that to see if anything could be going on. My doctor also ordered labs so I had to go do those! I had my FSH and LH tested 3 weeks ago but they had me go do it again today.(Does that mean something is wrong or is that just standard btw? Any tips would be helpful seeing as I’m overly anxious) When the front desk lady was writing my lab order on a form, she had to check she was writing the right labs I guess so she asked very quietly, “Is this for infertility?” And I just nodded but the tears started forming in my eyes. I didn’t cry. But it was very hard to stop myself. It’s just so frustrating and embarrassing. To hear that word come out of her mouth just made me get emotional. It made me think “is that what the doctor wrote in my chart?” We have been not preventing, kinda trying for a year and a half. Now this is month 2 of ttc. And my doctor had explained to me that subfertility is different from infertility. She wouldn’t call it infertility until we have been actively trying every month, tracking ovulation and timing intercourse for one full year! Which we had not been doing until these past two months. I’m just praying that everything really is okay. “That word really stinks”

PS I’m so sorry for anyone affected by infertility. I know so many people have it way harder than I have so far. It just feels very disheartening and it’s only been two months(technically) and two doctor appointments. Thanks for reading my long vent.