Obsessed coworker?

Question

I have a coworker who I’ve become close friends with. She is about my mothers age (or would be if she were alive) anyways, my coworker recently lost a son and when she found out I was pregnant, she was overly excited. She is always invading my belly. I had to tell her it hurts when people touch me. In the beginning shed grab my bump and shake it. 
She was telling me how she planned on quitting her job so she can watch the baby while I work. 
(A little background info: I have three daughters who are 18,20,22 years old.My youngest graduates high school right after this baby is born. They plan on taking turns watching their baby brother while I work) 
She was offended when another coworker offered to host a baby shower with  other coworkers (I work at an elementary school) whenever I buy something and she finds out, she gets mad and tells me I have to stop so she can buy stuff too. She sends me texts once a week telling me she bought something for the baby. 
Just the other day she sent me a text asking if she can be the babies grandmother since he won’t have one. He has one who lives overseas and my mom passed away 12 years ago. She also wants to be one of the people who can see the baby right after delivery.  
Mind you I already spoke with my OB about having just my husband, 3 daughters and my photographer (I want to photograph this adventure)in the delivery room. I asked that there be restrictions to only immediate family for the first 3 hours and no one else. 
When I told my coworker my dad would be offended if I allowed her to be called “grandma” or anything representing grandma and that she won’t be allowed to visit until later in the day, she was visibly upset and said “but I’m special!
How do I go about getting her to back off without making things awkward?

Answer

Her behavior is definitely overboard. Not normal.

Answer

I think she cares but it’s borderline overbearing

Answer

She clearly cares a lot about you. It’s always nice to have people that support you. But it does seem overload. I would tell her that you appreciate the friendship and that you are so thankful for her and all she has done but it’s a little much. Tell her how much she means to you and that you love her in your life but you feel like it’s a little too much but you don’t want to lose her as a good friend. Tell her she can be an “aunt” or something to make her happy.

Answer

Here’s a little back story of said coworker. She suffers from depression and anxiety for years. Her mother just passed away before Christmas and It’s coming up on the anniversary of her husband’s and son’s anniversary of their passing. They passed away within months of each other. She tends to get needy at times.
I’ve known her for 11 years, we run our schools PTA, book fair and after-school activities together. We don’t hang out outside work as much as we have in the past, maybe once every other month but it’s always with several other coworkers. She has watched my daughters grow up since elementary years. She was never involved in their upbringing.
She means well and has a huge heart but I don’t want her to believe that she has a role in my pregnancy or the babies upbringing. I just don’t know how to tell her that.

Answer

She sounds like she has psychological issues.🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

My question would be how close were you with her before she found out about the pregnancy?

Obsessed coworker?

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