? Pushovers or victims ?

Do you guys think that people who have been used by their boyfriends or people that they dated or know deserved it? I’ve heard a lot from my s/o and his family that girls who let their bf dictate how they should use their money or life had it coming to them. Of course his family disapproves if it. But whenever stuff like that comes up he would shrug and just say it’s the girls fault for getting pushed over and used. It worries me a lot because it just shows that he doesn’t mind it.

For example.

He had two friends that were living and have been together for five years (let’s call them Sarah and Sam).He would always defend the girl Sarah because the guy Sam basically lived free at her place and made her pay for all his stuff and would be controlling with her. However at the time my s/o and I weren’t together and he was just friends with his ex but he would make her buy everything for him (like his computer and his meals). He would call out the Sam for being controlling and how he used Sarah for her money but he’d do the same thing to his ex. His excuse was that his ex friend shouldn’t be such a pushover and then later on when Sam and Sarah broke up he ultimately blamed Sarah for being a pushover as well.

So confusing. what do you guys think? Not just about the situation I knew that happened in the past just in general.