I am getting a large tax return, and after 8 months of waiting I will finally be able to file for my divorce and be free of him. He knows I am doing it, I moved out 8 months ago and told him whatever he did from then on was not my buiness and vice versa. He was free to move on, and if I wished, so was I. I finally had enough of being insecure and crazy because he cheated. I deserve better than to allow someone to treat me like that. I hated living every day feeling the way I felt. And one day I finally realized that my marriage didn't bring me joy. We were both misrable. This isn't to say that it's emotionally always been easy, but I am so much happier now. I am a better person today than I have ever been. We have a daughter, and she was why we married for the most part. But our marriage couldn't withstand the stressors we faced shortly after. My daughter was a micropremie who broke my water at 24 w 0d. It was rough on us and we were not prepared to go through that. We were kids ourselves,(20 and 24) and didn't know what we wanted or what marriage would be like. And then somewhere along the way we stopped communicating, honestly and often. It's a death sentance to any relationship. I repeat: HONEST COMMUNICATION IS KEY! I have been out for 8 months now and I'm a different person. I still have, hard moments but thats a given with divorce. Anyways, I would have filed sooner but he threatened to contest joint and go for full, which meant I needed a lawyer. He knew that. It was a ploy to draw it out. But its okay because I have the money coming soon. It will be liberating to finally be free again. I do care about him, but we didn't work out as husband and wife. You can't fight for a marriage on your own. You have to have the other person there. And he just wasn't in it. Eventually, neither was I. I grieved for my marriage every day I stayed, trying to pretend it was ok. Now, I'm ready to pay for our mistake and move on. Ladies, I am posting this because I see so many of you who remind me of me. Don't jump into a marriage. Wait and be sure. Because even when you think you are, it may still disappoint you. It may not be what you thought. I rushed. I'm a hopeless romantic. I was wrong. And it was wrong to do so because of a baby. Now my son only gets to see his sister on occation. It was selfish to do what we did and my kids suffer for it. So slow down. Babies can be born later. You have time. Fall in love with you first. Then fall in love with someone else. To clarify, I want joint primary. He wants full. #FinallyGoingToBeHappy #IJustNeedMyBabies