So my daughter is 9 months old, my husband and i had agreed to start trying for a second around this time when we got pregnant but then he left us for someone he met the same day when our daughter was a week old. His girlfriend started sending me threatening messages from a texting app and of course my husband didn't believe me. Well a lot has happened the past 8 months and he's decided he's leaving this woman. We aren't going to get back together he really needs to learn to be on his own but for the past month we've been having sex again. He comes to see our daughter 3 times a week and just about every one of those days since January we've hooked up. It took us 3 years to get pregnant before so I'm not overly concerned with getting pregnant but we aren't really being safe, he pulls out but still. I don't know, i don't know what I'm doing right now. I feel like the sex isn't a huge deal it's just sex but i feel like there is this little part of me that isn't enjoying it because it reminds me that my daughter should have another sibling with the same mommy and daddy and not just half siblings. That had been really important to me that she wasn't like me with just a bunch of half siblings and now that's what she's is. And as much as i wanted more than one i definitely don't want to raise two babies on my own so i definitely don't want to get pregnant... i just feel like an emotional wreck right now and needed to vent 😒