My relationship with my mother has always been toxic. If i were to sit here a type everything this woman has ever done wrong to me i’d end up writing a damn novel. So I’ll just give you bullet points mkay?

•Got pregnant with me to keep my father around. Didn’t work. When she couldn’t control him she started trying to do it to me!

•Outed me about my bisexuality to family multiple times after she found out. Including once to my uncle who she knows I absolutely adore. And stood in the background laughing as i cried over him telling me i was “breaking his heart”. Oh did I mention she never even spoke to me alone specifically about it? Just in front of other people in my presence in an attempt to shame me and make me change my mind about how i felt to what she wanted? Yea thats kinda her thing .

•Constantly referred to me as stupid. Even in front of her friends and would laugh about it . Ex: “I just call her stupid instead hell” “Go do this stupid” “Hey Stupid”

•Constantly belittled me and compared me to my siblings. One of whom plays sports, the other is brilliantly smart. Because i wasnt very good at either of those things i was just stupid and lazy. ( I even attempted to try out for multiple sports to make her happy, guess i just wasnt good enough)

•At a family event told me my cousin was her “new daughter” because she was in school to be a OB/GYN (something she knows ive always wanted to do but told me all the time I wouldn’t be able to because im not smart enough”

•Told me at 17 she wanted me out of the house before my 18th birthday. Not in person, nooo she never talks shit that way. Just through very hurtful letters and texts.

When i found a new place to stay finally she threatened to call the police on the people i was staying with. Though she’d kicked me out multiple times before.

•Told my family about my engagement at a Christmas party, again without even talking to me about the situation first. So that they made me feel bad because she doesn’t like my husband.

•At one point decide she was tired of being a parent and sent me and my siblings to live with my elderly grandmother who struggled financially but worked hard to take care of us. (God bless her for doing so)

•only time i think she’s been even remotely satisfied with me is when i got a job and she could ask for money.

That’s not even all of it but I’m sure you get the point. Overall just a terrible parent. When i moved i cut ties with her. Its been a year (as of February 17) that I haven’t even seen her face to face. She talked so much shit about me and my husband. But now that I’m pregnant with her first grandchild everything is supposed to be forgiven? And she even wants to come up here for the birth of MY daughter. Everyone tells me to just let the past be the past. But its very easy to say that from the outside looking in. I know I probably shouldn’t but i do hold a burning resentment for this woman. What should i do?

Update: for anyone asking why i would even consider letting her come My two youngest siblings who i do want there still live with her because they’re underage. And my stepfather as well. They live in a different state so basically the choice i was given was either they all come or none of them at all.