Should kids give back to their parents?

Question

Ok, we’re about to get super personal, but lol.
Yesterday, mum came home from work on the verge of tears because she’s taken a huge pay cut (not a reflection of her work ethic, but because they’ve had no clients, therefore no income). 
She told me that she’s really worried about losing the house, and she was reliant on keeping our house in her old age, as she doesn’t have much super.
She’s extremely worried about her retirement, and I told her my siblings and I will take care of her.
She was telling me she’s the parent, so we shouldn’t have to look after her. My philosophy is that, she gave birth to me, raised me, and gave me everything she had, so it’s the least I can do for her.
Do you believe children should give back to their parents?

Answer

I think it’s nice if they are able to. I can’t help but think of all those people who say “spouse comes first! The children will leave someday” in this scenario 👀 I have watched my mom take care of my grandparents for the past few years now. It’s really difficult on her. While I commend her for taking care of her parents, I’m not sure anyone needs to be put under that type of stress. It’s hard to take care of older and sick people. Physically and mentally.

Answer

I personally am in a position where I can give back to my parents. I believe a goal as a parent is to make your child a better version of yourself. My parents instilled hard work ethic and the importance of a good education in me and I thrived. In my young 20s, my personal salary is higher than their combined and I give all the credit to them, so why not give back? They busted their butts to put me in the best school, while barely making ends meet. They paid extra for the honors societies, clubs, etc. that looked good on a college application that scored me a full-ride along with my GPA and community service. When I landed my amazing job, they were the first people I called (my husband was with me) and they cried with us over how drastically my life was about to change. I pay a part on their mortgage each month (they don’t know and won’t know until they pay it off early), I surprise them with plane tickets to come see us, and you’d bet if they ever needed ANYTHING I’d be right there for them Ike they were for me. They are lower middle class, and get beat around by taxes, insurance, and life. They made me who I am, and accept nothing from anyone and ask for nothing. Of course I’d give them everything I have and more. I understand not everyone can (or should) do that. I had amazing parents and am blessed to be able to help them out. Some people have awful parents or can’t financially help them, and that’s okay. But if your caretakers contributed to your success, you should at least owe them a thank you for feeding you, putting clothes on your back, and helping you along the way. They shouldn’t ask for it, it’s part of being a parent, but they definitely deserve a thanks. I know the day my daughter reaches the age to say “thank you for everything mom” will be one of the proudest moments of my life. I remember that day vividly with my dad. It was like a “we made it to adulthood” moment.

Answer

purely circumstantial. Were they good parents? were you nurtured and loved and provided positive experiences? Do you want to? I won't be giving shit to my parents personally. In my culture however, its expected to take care of family, and its widely common. I know it will be my SOs parents we will be taking care of though for sure. 
I wouldn't expect it from my son. He didnt ask to be here. I dont want him spending time out of his life taking care of me. He doesn't owe me anything.

Answer

It depends on the circumstances really. If I had a good relationship with my parents I'd help them as much as I could. I help out now, but it usually gets thrown up in my face anyway, so I'm hesitant to help anymore. I don't like that some people expect it because 'I carried you for 9 months and raised you', because it's not like anyone asks to be born or cared for. Parents make the decision to raise their children (most of the time), therefore it's not fair to expect it in return. I've had my parents tell me I should buy them things etc because they did the same for me when I was a child, I think it's weird that they expect things because they chose to not neglect me. It's obviously different within different cultures and for people with different relationships with their parents, but I don't think it should ever be forced or an expectation

Answer

I think if they want to, they should. Being forced to, makes me sick.  I saw it first hand in my Husband's best friend. Spent over $50k on helping his parents and their business. He gets called names, made fun of, abused, etc. He stays with his parents because he takes care of his sister who is physically unable to care for herself. (brain injury that is believed to be from abuse as a child...but was never proven in Korea and is ignored in the states) Its heartbreaking because his parents treat him as though he is required to take care of them.

Answer

Should they? No. Can they? Yes, if they want to. You weren't born to provide for them, but it would be nice if you did.

Answer

If your parents need help and you can provide it then yes help them. That’s the circle of life, they took care of us so it’s only right we take care of them when the time comes

Answer

If they are capable of helping, yes. For example, if my mom received a pay cut, I wouldn’t be able to help her financially, but I could certainly open my house up to her if need be. We don’t always get along, but she’s still my mother. There are some people who wouldn’t be able to help, whether it be financially, emotionally, etc.

Answer

I think if your guardians treat you well and always strive to do their best for you that you should always help them whenever they need in return. My grandparents took me in from a bad situation at a very young age and my entire childhood was just dedicated to being a child but also helping them whenever they needed it. If they needed me to carry a heavy ladder nextdoor and a movie I’d been waiting so long to watch was on and I couldn’t pause it, I’d get up and carry it next door without complaint. If they needed something upstairs I’d run up and go get it, which was sometimes literally up to 60 times a day. I saved my grandfather’s life at 15 by staying calm and alerting 911 when he had a heart attack because he saved mine. Now I still continue to do whatever I can for them, including monetary support. My plan is to buy my grandfather his dream car, a Tesla model S, as soon as I can get one for him. I’ll take it over when he dies, which will probably be soon with his heart issues, but I’d like for him to die knowing that he had that car. I absolutely think kids should give back to the good people in their lives, which will usually be their parents.

Answer

If you have the ability to take care of your own family and help your parents then yes. Is it required obviously not... but I would 100%.

Should kids give back to their parents?

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