Issues with my boyfriend watching porn

Laura

So for most of the duration of our relationship, I’ve known about my boyfriend watching porn. I’ve tried to not bring it up as an issue, since we’ve been trying to work through other issues that I feel are more important.

Well yesterday while I was at dinner, he stayed home in my apartment(we don’t live together) and I found out that he masturbated, and told me he watched porn for it. This is when the real upheaval within me happened and now it has been on the forefront of my mind. I’ve been feeling really cruddy about my body image, I don’t even want him to see me naked anymore. I have no desire to have sex with him now because I feel really shot down, not pretty enough, not sexy, etc.

I don’t even feel comfortable bringing it up to him as an issue because he’s lied to me a few times already in the past and I’m having trust issues with him currently, so I feel like it would be pointless to ask him to not do it anymore because he’d still probably do it behind my back and just try to be more secretive about it.

Am I in the wrong for how this is making me feel? Is it worth it to bring it up to him?

Thank you so sincerely to anyone who answers me, I’m not exactly sure what to do with this situation.