I have been with my husband 4 yrs (married 3 of those yrs). I love him very much & I want things to work with him. It started out as a long distance relationship & the plan was to live together in the same place once we married, but that hasn't happened. 4 yrs later, I only get to see him 1-2x a yr & only for a few days at a time. Also, he has cut down the communication drastically. If I hear from him every 3-4 days, I'm lucky. 

That said, I have a friend that I've known about 7 yrs & one drunken night we slept together. I care for my friend a lot & he has a family & I don't want to do anything more to impact his life & his family; however I just found out I'm pregnant. I'm freaking out. Idk what to do. 

I've always wanted to be a mom, to have children & I had thought it may not be possible. I'm 36, so I don't have a lot of time left to have children. And, not living with my husband sure isn't helping in that regard. 

Also, while I don't judge others, I never thought I would be able to have an abortion. I don't think I could live with myself afterwards. 

Also, I know in my heart that I could never place my child up for adoption. 

So, I'm stuck. 

I forgot to mention that I was recently laid off of my longtime job & am unemployed. 

So, hear I am. If I keep the child, I will have to raise it alone. My husband will definitely leave me (I know I deserve that) & I would not do anything to interfere with my friends life. Being unemployed & not even knowing where I'm going to be living after July doesn't really set me up for success either. 

I told my friend today about the pregnancy. Of course, we are both pretty shocked.  He didn't pressure me, but he is definitely preferring I have an abortion. 

What do you think I should do?  I appreciate any helpful advise you can give. 

Please don't be too mean. I'm pregnant, crazy emotional & really sorry.  Thanks.