I am needing advice on how to handle my in laws.

Here's the backstory. My husband and I have been together 7 years. Over the course of that time, my in laws have been very passive aggressive towards me, making hundreds of snarky comments and jabs over the silliest things. They live 5 hours away (thank goodness) and they continuously hold that against us because we can not attend their spur of the moment events. Before we had our son in October, they'd come down once or twice a year, and we'd drive there 4-5 times a year. Regardless of the occasion, they would always find some way to stir the pot, and try, either through jabs or trying to bait us into an argument about politics. 🙄

Despite all of this, we have both held our tongues because we both don't like confrontation.

However, here's where I really feel like it's time for me to say something:

Friday was my husband's birthday. For the 3rd year in a row, they did not call, text, or anything of the sort. His mom wrote in his Facebook page, and he didnt hear from his dad. The year prior, they called on the wrong day to tell you happy birthday!! Obviously this bothers my husband, but he doesn't want to say anything. I am peeved though. He is always the one to call them first and he always calls on all special occasions. His dad throws big fits each year because we can't come up for his birthday (he's in his late 60s and his birthday is on the first week of school, which is always busy for us since we are both teachers), but then neither of them bother to call his for his birthday.

They also treat our son different than the other grandkids. They weren't happy when we told them about the baby, and they favor my nephew significantly more. Now, the nephew lives an hour away from them,so I expect him to have a closer relationship with his grandparents than my son will, so that's not what gets me. what bothers me is that they've set up college etc accounts for each grandkid, but won't do so for ours. their reasoning is because their other children aren't well off and "we are" (like I said, we are both teachers, so we make ends meet but it's a stretch).

So I guess my question is this. Do I confront them about these issues? Am I being petty and ridiculous? Obviously I am not a big fan of theirs for many more reasons that what I've described, but am I being childish? I've never been snippy or anything with them in the past, but I've about had it! Any ideas for ways to handle this would be great!!